Playing With Fire
by Kat-of-the-Streets
Summary: What would have happened had Mary and Matthew met in 1910? FYI: The OC is Patrick Crawley. Edith OOC (especially compared to season 4, done on purpose)
1. Prologue

AN: This story explores the possibilities of what could have happened had Mary and Matthew met before 1912. There are a lot of changes of perspectives in this story. I am playing around with letting the format of the story mirror the characters feelings but I have no idea whether this is working. Based on the plotline of this story one (not the only!) of the dominant feelings is confusion which I hope to have captured without actually confusing the readers. Does this make any sense? I hope it does.

I've posted the Prologue and the first chapter today, so you'll get an idea of what this story will be like.

Kat

* * *

September 1910

_Downton Abbey_

"Mary, Edith, there is something I would like you to do."

"What is it Papa?"

"We've been invited to an extended family reunion in Liverpool and I think that at least one or two of us should make an appearance there. But your mother and I will still be in New York, your grandmother cites her age, and Sybil is too young. So I want you to go. Try not to fight in front of our extended family please."

"Papa, we'll try but can't promise anything."

"I trust you know how to behave."

_Manchester_

"Oh this is nice. We've been invited to a family reunion in Liverpool. It says they've invited the Earl of Grantham as well."

"I don't care about him."

"He is the head of our family, Matthew."

"Of our very extended family. Mother, I have never met that man. I am sure he does not even know that I exist."

"Well, I've met him once and he was very nice. His wife as well. She's American, you know."

"And that makes her a queen."

"No. I didn't say that. I just said that they were nice people. Matthew, if you want to be a successful lawyer it might not hurt to be in the Earl of Grantham's good books."

"That means you want me to accompany you."

"Yes."


	2. Chapter 1

_Matthew_

"Lady Mary Crawley and Lady Edith Crawley."

He turns around and looks at them. Lady Edith looks almost nondescript while her older sister looks slightly haughty. He leans towards his mother. "So the Earl and Countess didn't come after all. They sent their daughters in their stead. They probably think too highly of themselves to leave the Abbey for something like this family reunion."

"No they don't. They are in New York, visiting my mother's mother and brother, a trip they had planned in July. So they asked my sister and me to represent them. They would have come if they weren't on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean."

He wishes there was a hole in the ground he could vanish into. He turns to his mother for help but she has started to talk to someone else and isn't even listening. "Lady Mary, I am sorry, I hope you know this was just a joke."

"Of course I do, Mr?"

"Crawley. Matthew Crawley." He doesn't think that Lady Mary really believes that he was making a joke.

"Matthew Crawley. Your great-great-grandfather was the younger brother of the third Earl." "Something like that anyway."

"That makes us fourth cousins."

"If you say so." He realizes that he has just been incredibly rude to her.

"I am sorry Lady Mary. I am not myself right now. I actually am quite nice, even though I must appear rather rude to you."

She smiles at him and says "yes you do" but there is a twinkle in her eye. He wants to make it up to her and the only thing that comes to his mind is to ask her for a dance at the ball later that night.

"I don't suppose there are any free spaces on your dance card?" She raises an eyebrow at him but answers evenly. "There are. The first I have to dance with my cousin Patrick, of course. But the supper dance is still free. So if you are willing to sit next to me while eating you could have that one."

"It would be my pleasure, Lady Mary."

"Drop the Lady, just call me Mary."

_Mary_

She has no idea why she has just agreed to dance with that upstart cousin of hers, let alone give him the supper dance and allow him to call her 'Mary'. But there is something about him that intrigues her. He seemed honest and not too keen on pleasing her and that is refreshing. She looks forward to the ball and it is not because of the dance she'll have to share with Patrick. Her parents are pushing her to make the engagement official, but she is reluctant. She wants to be Countess of Grantham one day, but she doesn't want to marry Patrick. She doesn't love him and thinks that she never will. She has known Patrick almost all her live. She wants what her parents have. A marriage based on love and she is sure that that won't happen to her with Patrick. He is nice enough but he isn't more than a compromise and she sometimes thinks that he is a rather bad compromise. She is looking forward to the ball because of the dance she'll share with Matthew and the supper she will have with him. They might even have a decent conversation.

She dances the first dance with Patrick and they hardly talk but that is not unusual for them. After the dance he asks her if she is still free for the supper dance. When she says no he replies "I'll ask Edith then. It'll make her happy." "Very happy, I suppose", she answers. She wishes she could feel for Patrick what Edith feels but she can't.

"Mary". She turns around and looks into eyes so impossibly blue they almost sweep her of her feet. Matthew holds out his hand to her and she takes it. He dances her across the ballroom and keeps a running commentary on the other ladies' dresses. It is obvious he knows nothing about fashion but it is just as obvious that he is joking. She joins him in this endeavor and by the end of the dance they can hardly stand straight for laughing. They sit down for supper and he asks her why she had to dance the first dance with her cousin Patrick.

"Because I am supposed to marry him. I don't have a brother and he is my father's heir. Strictly speaking Patrick's father James is my father's heir. But he is older than my father, so it is unlikely that he will ever be the earl. And if he is it won't be for long. But to all intends and purposes, Patrick is the future Earl of Grantham."

"And your parents want him to marry you so that the title will stay in the immediate family."

"It's not about the title. It's about the money. My mother's money. The estate was almost bankrupt until my parents got married. My mother was an incredibly rich American heiress and all her money is tied to the estate."

"And your mother doesn't want her fortune to go to a cousin."

"My father doesn't want that either. It would break his heart. My mother gave up so much for him." "And your father is aware of that?"

"Yes. He is more aware of it than my mother is, I think."

"Would you mind me asking you a personal question about your parents?"

"No. If I don't want to answer it, I don't have to."

"How are your parents getting along?"

"I can answer that. Splendidly. They are blissfully happy. The trip to New York was my father's birthday present for my mother. He said he wanted to make her smile. But he does that by entering any room that she is in. And it is the other way around too."

"That is what you want too and you don't think you'll have it with Patrick."

"I won't. I've known him all my life, there is no love lost between us. How did you know that?"

"I am a lawyer, I know people."

"You also make people tell you things they might regret telling you."

"I won't breathe a word to anyone. I promise. What do you think about all those suffragettes being assaulted?"

She smiles at him, thankful for the change of topic. "I think it's horrid. I believe that women should have the right to vote. All women. What do you think?"

"I agree."

"You do? You are a man."

"Yes. And as a man I think that women should be allowed to vote."

"Impressive."

"I'll take that as a compliment." After supper she lets herself be taken outside by Matthew and they keep on talking for what feels like hours.

When she is in bed later that night she realizes that she can't wait to see him again the next day.


	3. Chapter 2

AN: I totally forgot to say "Thank you" to eyeon yesterday. There is a conversation in _Kiss Me_ in which Mary and Matthew talk about whether they'd still have gotten married if Patrick had not died. Eyeon told me that that would be a good idea for a new story. I changed the original idea a little, but the basic idea is the same. So here it goes:

Eyeon, thank you very much for putting this story into my head and for reviewing my stories so faithfully!

* * *

_Matthew_

"Matthew, be careful."

"Why?"

"Lady Mary is not for you."

"I know mother, she has to marry her cousin Patrick. Her father's heir. She told me so herself. Without me asking her. So don't tell me that she is stringing me along, she warned me. But I enjoyed talking to her anyway. And I am almost sure that I am in her good books now which might put me into her father's good books."

"Still Matthew. Be careful. Don't fall in love with her."

"I won't, don't worry", he says but thinks that it is already too late.

When he sees her at the breakfast table the next morning he sits down next to her and she literally beams at him. He can feel Patrick's eyes on him and looks up but Patrick has already sat down next to Lady Edith and seems to be involved in a conversation with her. The day is spent as days of house parties are always spent. There are walks around the park, games of cards, listening to music and talking to people one hardly knows. Although Matthew thinks that the last part isn't strictly true. He spends most of his time talking to Mary and he has the feeling that he knows her quite well.

"How do you do that?"

"What?" he asks rudely and surprised because he didn't think that Patrick Crawley would ever talk to him.

"Make Mary smile a true smile. Make her give you her full attention."

"Isn't she always like that?"

"Absolutely not. She's arrogant and haughty and aloof."

"Maybe she is just in a good mood because she likes this party?"

"Mary is never in a really good mood. Or she hasn't been in the last five years. Except for since the moment she met you. Don't get too close to her."

"Don't worry. I know that she is supposed to marry you. I won't steal her."

"That's not what I mean. I am not sure that I will marry her after having seen you with her."

"Cousin Patrick, we didn't do anything"

"I know. But I can't make her happy and she won't make me happy but there is someone else whom I could make happy, I think."

He watches Patrick go back to Edith and sees her smile at him. She doesn't look so nondescript anymore and he wonders if it wouldn't be better for everyone if Patrick married Edith. He could marry Mary then. Or maybe not because he is sure that the Earl of Grantham would not allow his daughter to marry an upper middle class lawyer. He is also sure that Mary would never want to marry a country solicitor.

_Robert_

"Papa?"

"Yes, Edith?" He knows his daughter is stealing herself to say something she isn't sure she is supposed to say.

"What do you know about Matthew Crawley?"

"Only what Mary has already told me. That he is your fourth cousin, a lawyer and that he lives in Manchester. Why do you ask?"

"I was wondering if you would invite him and his mother here for New Year's Eve or the shoot or both."

"Edith, if you like him we have to talk about that very seriously. Because I won't allow you to marry a middle class lawyer."

"I don't want to marry him, don't worry. But he is nice and it might be helpful to know the only lawyer in the family."

He wonders what is on his daughters' agendas. Mary wouldn't stop talking about Matthew until Patrick shut her up rather unkindly. And now Edith wants him here for a family holiday. All he can do is shake his head at her when she leaves.

"Cora?" He calls his wife when he sees her walking past the library. "Could you come in here? I want to talk to you about something."

She smiles at him. She always does. And it always makes his heart beat a little faster.

"Edith wants me to invite Matthew Crawley for New Year's and the shoot."

"That is rather curious because Mary doesn't stop talking about him. I hope he is not another man for them to fight over, because they already fight over Patrick like cats and dogs." He has to laugh, he can't help it.

"It's not funny, you know. You aren't the one who has to deal with their fights and barbs all day long."

"I am sorry, my darling. And I know the whole Patrick thing is rather delicate. If Mary only agreed to make the engagement official, Edith could stop hoping."

"I don't think that will happen anytime soon."

"We will have to talk to her again. But regardless of that, should we invite Matthew Crawley and his mother?"

"I think so. I want to meet him. If both Mary and Edith praise him there must be something special about him. Robert, as much as I would like to stay here with you, your mother has summoned me for tea. And I will be late if I don't leave now."

"We couldn't risk that." Because there are no servants around he gives her quick kiss on the lips and she smiles at him in a way that makes him want to do all kinds of things to her but he knows he has to let her go. "I'll see you tonight", she says to him and leaves. He stares after her in wonder. He still can't believe how happily married he is. He wants this for his daughters too and he always thought that it might happen for Mary and Patrick. But after the way Patrick talked to Mary the past few weeks he doubts that. Regardless, there is no way around this marriage.


	4. Chapter 3

_Isobel_

"Matthew, we've been invited to Downton Abbey. They ask us to stay from New Year's Eve till the day after the shoot on the third of January. You must have made a very favorable impression."

"Will we go?"

"Of course. We cannot decline an invitation issued by both the Earl and Countess of Grantham." Her son's face lights up and she thinks that he is a little too happy about their plans for New Year's and the days to follow.

_Matthew_

When he sees Downton Abbey for the first time he can't believe how majestic it looks. He is almost afraid of it. But Mary has told him not to worry. She told him that her parents were looking forward to meeting him. He still wonders how she managed to get her parents to invite him, although she keeps insisting that it was actually Edith who asked them to do it. He has an idea of why Edith might have done such a thing and he knows that all three of them, maybe four of them if Patrick is counted, are playing with fire. But he can't stop. When he received the first letter from Mary, only three days after returning from Liverpool he knew that he couldn't keep the promise he made to himself, he couldn't stay away from her. They've exchanged letters regularly ever since, he writes back the day he receives her letters and she does so vice versa. Their letters are full of discussions about politics and banters about literature but he still isn't sure they are appropriate because there always seems to be something in between the lines.

He and his mother enter the Abbey and he looks around himself in wonder. "Mr Crawley and Mrs Crawley", the butler announces them. A man in his fourties walks towards him and welcomes him and his mother. "Let me introduce you to my wife, the Countess of Grantham, my mother, the Dowager Countess and my youngest daughter Lady Sybil. Of course you already know Lady Mary and Lady Edith." He is slightly confused because he didn't expect the Earl of Grantham to be so welcoming and unassuming. Mary smiles at him and nods and he is able to relax a little.

"James and Patrick will join us later today. Thomas and William will show you to your rooms. You can stay there and rest if you like, or come downstairs and join us. We will be in the library."

"Thank you Lady Grantham", he replies. She looks at him a little startled but not unkindly and says "call my Cousin Cora. That's what I am." She really is American is all he can think.

"She is very nice."

"What?"

"I said she is really nice."

"Who?"

"Matthew, the countess."

"Yes. Mother, I am sorry, I wasn't really listening."

"No. You were staring at her daughter."

"Whose daughter?"

"Cousin Cora's daughter. Mary."

"She looked at me. Was I supposed to look away?"

"No. But you are playing with fire."

"I know, Mother", he says because there is no point in lying to her. She knows him too well. "I'll go downstairs again, if it is all right with you."

"It is son. But don't do anything you might regret later."

He spends the afternoon in Mary's company and sits next to her at dinner. He hardly talks to anyone else, although he notices the looks that Lord Grantham, the Dowager and Patrick are throwing him. Lord Grantham looks as if he doesn't know what to think, the Dowager couldn't look more disapprovingly and Patrick looks calculating. He doesn't care about any of it, all he wants to do is take Mary somewhere and kiss her. But he knows he can't. Although he would like to very much. So very much. He wonders if there is any way to do this when Mary makes this decision for him.

_Mary_

"Matthew, come to the library with me, I want to show you something", she whispers in his ear. She knows that Edith has heard her and feels her eyes on her back but she doesn't care anymore. They have started to play with fire, her and Matthew and Patrick and Edith, and she knows that this might burn their whole lives to the ground, but she doesn't care. She kissed Patrick on Christmas day, just to find out what it was like and she didn't like it. She found it disgusting and she thought that so did he. Until she saw him kissing Edith only a few hours later. Finding them kissing by the Grecian temple hurt her less than she thought it should have hurt her. She is of course afraid of losing the title and the estate but thoughts of all of this being worth the loss of a title and an estate keep coming to her mind. She isn't sure what 'all of this' is yet, but she wants to find out. So she decided to kiss Matthew while she watched Edith kiss Patrick.

"What did you want to show me?" Matthew asks. "Nothing", she says. She hadn't planned on being so obvious but now that it has happened, she thinks that turning back makes no sense. "I wanted to do this", she says instead, puts her hands on each side of Matthew's face, pulls him close and kisses him. She doesn't find this disgusting. Quite the opposite. She could go on like this forever. "Mary", comes her sister's voice. "What do you think you are doing?" For once in her life she is glad that it is Edith and not Sybil. "Only what you did with Patrick at the Grecian temple. I won't tell on you if you won't tell on me." Edith turns around but Mary isn't sure that her sister agrees with this deal. She wonders what her sister is up to. Considering that it is Edith, probably nothing good. "Oh God, Mary" Matthew whispers in her ear and he kisses her again. She isn't able to stop him; she doesn't want to stop him.

_Matthew_

He knows he has to break the kiss. They have already been discovered although it appears that Edith has a skeleton in her closet as well, so she probably won't tell. "Mary", he says and pulls away. "We have to stop this."

"I know, but I don't want to. Meet me later tonight. In here or somewhere else, I don't care."

"We are playing with fire, Mary."

"I know. We all are. Edith and Patrick as well." "

"Mary, no good can come of this."

"Wasn't this kiss good?"

"It was fantastic Mary. But we can't do it again. You have to marry Patrick."

"I don't care about Patrick. I kissed him too and it was disgusting."

"When was this?"

"Christmas Day."

His world is pulled from under his feet. How could she have done this to him?

"How could you Mary. How can you kiss him first and kiss me only a week later?"

"How can he kiss me and kiss Edith only hours later? We wanted to see what would happen. Nothing happened. We didn't feel anything. But it was different with you. Kissing you is something I don't want to stop."

"Mary, you are"

"I am what?"

"the most wonderful woman I have ever met. But we have to go back."

"Meet me later tonight, please."

"No Mary. I want to. Very much. But we can't."

He can see the disappointment in her eyes but he can't risk it. If they were caught, Lord Grantham would throw him out of his house. And he'd be right to do so.


	5. Chapter 4

AN: Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! It really keeps me going to see how many people like what I write (I always think that it isn't very good). So THANK YOU!

I know that the chapter titles are shown in a 'weird' way, e.g. it says ' 3'. Does anyone know how to get rid of that first number? Because I obviously don't. Would you please PM me if you do know that? That would be very nice :)

Have a good day everyone! (it is 5:40 am here :( )

Kat

* * *

_Cora_

She watches her daughter and Matthew return to the drawing room and knows by the looks on their faces that Mary didn't show Matthew any books in the library. She needs to talk to her eldest daughter about this, but she needs to talk to Edith too. Edith followed them, returned with a smug look on her face, smiled at Patrick and sat down next to him. They have been in deep conversation ever since. This surprises her because she always thought that Patrick had eyes for Mary only but that doesn't seem to be true anymore. What surprises her even more is the smile that Mary gives Edith when she sees her sister obviously flirting with the man who is supposed to be her future husband. She looks over to her own husband who at the moment she catches his eye gives her a look that says 'we'll talk about this later'. She smiles at him in thanks because she knows that he knows that she is bursting to talk to someone about this.

"What do you think is going on with those four?" She doesn't have to explain who she means. "Darling, I have no idea. But I might have to have a serious talk with Matthew. Sneaking of into the library with Mary. While Patrick is here too of all things."

"I don't think that Patrick minded too much, to be honest. Maybe the affection between Mary and Patrick isn't one sided anymore. Maybe it has dissolved into nothingness." Her husband pulls a face at this.

"But they need to get married."

"Do they really, Robert? Does it matter which of our daughters he chooses as long as he chooses one of them?" Her husband smiles at her.

"No, I don't think so. Does that mean that you think that he might be interested in Edith?"

"Yes, I am almost sure."

"That would solve a few problems. Edith is in love with him. She's loved him for years." She is surprised by her husband's bland statement about their daughter's feelings.

"But it would also create at least two new problems. Mary would lose the title she was sure to have and we would have to find a suitable husband for her within the next few years."

"Well, you are an expert at finding suitable husbands", he says while he moves closer to her.

"Really?"

"Yes. You found me. For yourself. And I am very suitable." He pushes her towards their bed and she has to smile.

"I'll be the judge of your suitabilty." She lets herself be pushed onto their bed and is surprised when her husband suddenly moves away from her.

"Enter", he says. She rolls her eyes.

"Oh Papa, I am sorry, I didn't know you were in here."

"No Edith, how could you know this after having lived with us for more than 18 years?"

Her daughter looks so abashed that Cora feels sorry for her despite the exasperation Edith' untimely interruption causes her. "Edith, don't mind your father. He is a little impatient tonight." She has to bite her lower lip to not burst out laughing when she sees how red her husband becomes at that statement. But she is almost sure that Edith didn't understand the double meaning. She is sure that Mary certainly and that Sybil probably would have understood, but Edith is too innocent. "What do you want, darling?"

"Mama, Patrick has proposed to me."

"What did you say?"

"I said yes."

"Congratulations my dear."

"Are you happy for me, Papa?" Her middle daughter turns to Robert, obviously begging for approval. "If that is what you both want, then yes. I am happy for you. Your sister Mary might not be too happy for you though."

"I don't care about Mary."

"Edith, that is unkind. But let's not talk about that tonight. I suppose that Patrick will talk to me tomorrow."

"He said so."

"Then go to bed, darling. Dream of your wedding."

"Good night Mama, Papa", she says and leaves the room.

"We are in for a great war among sisters, Robert."

"I know. But what are we supposed to do? Tell Edith she can't marry Patrick? Force him and Mary to marry? They'd all be miserable. And you said yourself that it doesn't matter which one of them he marries. This all just happened much faster than we thought it would. Let's not worry about that right now though. You were right when you said that I was impatient tonight."

She pulls her husband back into their bed and stops thinking.


	6. Chapter 5

AN: Thank you again for the reviews and the follows! They are what keeps me writing.

* * *

_Mary_

There's a knock on her door and she is hesitant to open it. "Who is it?" she asks. "Edith and Patrick" her sister's voice says. She opens the door, looks at them and knows what they want. She wants to scream at Edith for stealing her husband and hug her for freeing her from him at that same time. "Come in. If it's both of you, there's no harm in it."

"Mary, this isn't easy. I know everyone thought you and I would get married. But the truth is I don't love you. I love your sister. And she loves me too." She doesn't know what to say.

"Mary, I'm sorry."

"No, Edith you are not. You can hardly contain your smugness. You've just stolen my title, little sister", she snaps at her. The moment the words are out of her mouth she regrets them. Not because they have hurt Edith, because they haven't, she smiles even more now, but she regrets it because she thinks that Matthew would be mortified if he knew that she said such a thing.

"Just so you know, Mama and Papa are happy for me. They won't stop us."

"No, they are all for love as long as it falls in the right place."

Patrick looks at her with an expression on his face she can only call brotherly love. "Mary", he says. "If you want me to, I'll try to make your father come round to Matthew. I am almost sure I can do it now. I've kept the estate in the family. It doesn't matter who you marry, really. And why not Matthew? I like him a lot."

"Why do you think I'd want to marry Matthew?"

"Because you are a different person around him. You are yourself. You always put on an act for everyone. But not for him. And he is head over heels for you too."

"I can't marry a country lawyer. I am from the aristocracy, not the upper middle class. Where would we be supposed to live? In his house in Manchester, together with his mother?" She sees her sister opening her mouth, undoubtedly forming a spiteful retort. But she is surprised by Patrick's reaction.

"Edith, keep your comment to yourself, love. No Mary. I think Matthew is quite ambitious. He wouldn't mind living in London. I am sure I could convince your father to let you live at Grantham house."

"Let, let, let. I don't want to be let. I want to make decisions."

"Think about what I said Mary, please. I don't love you like I love your sister. But do love you like a sister. I want you to be happy."

_Cora_

She wakes up in the middle of the night and is surprised not to find her husband besides her. This worries her because he always sleeps in her room. So she gets up and goes looking for him. She finds him in the library looking at something that looks like a family tree, papers strewn all around him.

"What are you doing darling?" she asks. The moment he hears her voice he looks at her and smiles. She wishes he'd come back to bed with her right now.

"I am looking at the family tree and our connections to Matthew. And I found something out."

"It must be good because you look like the cat who got the cream."

"Matthew is Patrick's heir. As long as Patrick doesn't have any sons that is."

"Why does that make you so happy?"

"Cora, think about it. Patrick will marry Edith. It is what we wanted, or close enough. But imagine they don't have son. That might very well happen as we both know rather well. Matthew would be his heir then, followed by his son, should he have one. Now suppose Edith and Patrick don't have a son but Matthew has son and that son was Mary's son as well. Patrick's heir would still be our grandson then."

"So what you are saying is that if Edith married Patrick and Mary married Matthew the chances of my money staying in the family would be much better."

"Yes. All we have to do is convince Mary to marry Matthew."

"You are playing with fire my dear. If you try to convince her, she won't do it."

"We have to come up with a plan then."

"Robert, as good as this sounds, as much as Mary seems to like Matthew, I doubt that it will happen. She will not want to be the wife of a country lawyer."

"That's where I come in. I've already asked Murray about Matthew a few weeks ago because the girls kept talking about him. He says that Matthew is considered by many to be one of the brightest legal minds of his generation. I told Murray that Matthew was a cousin of mine and that I wouldn't mind if he were able to put his abilities to good use. Murray said he'd arrange something. Matthew will get a very lucrative job offer in the near future. One that would make him and Mary be accepted in the highest social circles. Especially combined with her title."

"And you think that will make Mary marry him."

"It just might my dear."

"It is unlikely."

"It was unlikely that you'd accept my proposal and yet you did."

"I was hopelessly in love with you. The crown prince himself could have proposed to me and I'd have rejected him for you."

"Maybe Mary is hopelessly in love with Matthew."

She has to smile at her husband. She knows this idea is making him happy and not only because it would better their chances of keeping the money, the title and the estate in the family but because it would make him very happy if he knew that their daughters were happily married.

"It appears that you have found a suitable husband for our daughter."


	7. Chapter 6

_Patrick_

He has never been so nervous about talking to his cousin. He is not sure what Robert will say. Edith said that her father didn't care about which of his daughters would marry the future Earl of Grantham and that he seemed happy enough with yesterday's events. But both his parents and Robert and Cora have been working towards a marriage between him and Mary for years. So he knocks on the door a lot less assuredly than he usually does.

"Come in" He enters the room and sees Robert smile at him.

"Patrick", he says. "I hear congratulations are in order."

"If you agree."

"Of course I do. If it makes both Edith and you happy, then I have no objections. I'm a little worried about Mary, of course, but I am sure she'll get over it."

He wonders if he is entitled to say that both he and Edith have already spoken to Mary but decides that he should leave that up to his future wife and sister-in-law.

_Mary_

She needs to talk to someone and like a little child she goes to her mother. When her mother looks at her she puts her arms around her and just says "Oh Mary". And like a little child she begins to cry on her mother's shoulder. Her mother let's her cry herself out and then asks her "Would you like to talk about it?" ever so gently. She wants to but her mother's gentle voice just causes her to cry again. "Whenever you're ready", her mother says to her and keeps on holding her.

"Mama, have I been a horrible sister to Edith?" she asks her mother eventually.

"Well, you certainly aren't very nice to each other but I don't think that you are the only one to blame for that."

"I think I must have been horrible or she wouldn't do this to me."

"Mary, I know this is hard, but sometimes we just can't help our feelings. Patrick loves Edith and she loves him. I know it seems unfair to you but I think that in the end it is better if Patrick marries Edith and not you."

"That is not what I mean. Of course it hurts that I've lost the title, but in a way I have won a freedom I never thought I'd have. But Edith is lording it over me so much. She keeps on telling me what she will do when she is the countess. She talks about how she will run this house and that she will ask both Sybil and me to leave as soon as she can, regardless of our marital status to use her own words. Sybil threw the cookie jar at her but I just couldn't say or do anything. It is as if she hates us. And not only me, but Sybil too."

"Mary, I will talk to Edith, I promise. But you have to understand that this is the first time in her life that she feels as if she was outshining her sisters. She has always been in your and Sybil's shadows. She is shy and introvert, which is the opposite of what you and Sybil are. It doesn't mean that your Papa and I love her any less, but she often feels as if it was that way. We have told her countless times that it isn't true but she doesn't believe it. She firmly believes that we prefer you and Sybil. Just as she thinks your granny and aunt Rosamund do. Which isn't true either. And now, Patrick, the heir, has chosen her over both her sisters, has chosen her to keep the title, the estate, and the money in the family. She has saved us after what she perceived of having been neglected for years and years."

"I never knew she felt that way."

"No. You were fighting too much to think about your sister's feelings. I am not criticizing you. I fought with my brother just as much. He got to do what he wanted; I had to marry into the English aristocracy. I did not like that very much when I was young. And now he almost hates me for having a wonderful, loving family, something he never found. I know about difficult sibling relationships."

"I don't think Uncle Harold hates you. Not really. I don't hate Edith. Not even now. And I want to be happy for her, I would be happy for her, if she wasn't so horrible to me. Or to Sybil."

"Maybe you should tell her exactly that." She has to cry again. She feels as if her mother's words have taken the weight of the world of shoulder, but she still has to cry.

_Robert_

Before talking to Mary he wants to talk to his wife about what he should say. So he goes upstairs to their room and opens the door without knocking. The sight that meets him breaks his heart. His eldest daughter is crying her heart out on her mother's shoulders. His wife looks at him as if to say 'it is worse than we thought'. So he sits down next to his daughter and puts his hand on her shoulder.

"Mary, child", he says and then stops because he doesn't know how to go on. His daughter sits up straight, looks at him and says "How disappointed you must be in me Papa. And how proud of Edith." The hurt in Mary's eyes almost makes him cry. He pulls her close and says "No Mary, I am not disappointed in you. How could I be? You are a wonderful, intelligent, outspoken young woman. I am very proud of you. I am proud of Edith too, of course, but I am not disappointed in you. And certainly not because Patrick chose to marry someone else. I know I don't tell you this often enough, but I love you. Just as I love your sisters. And I am proud of all three of you, regardless of whom you may or may not marry." This speech causes his daughter to cry even harder and he looks at his wife, absolutely flabbergasted. Cora smiles at him in a way that says 'Thank you. I love you', so he knows that he hasn't caused any more damage at least. He lets Mary cry on his shoulder but as soon as she has stopped he tells her that he has to go because he is already late for the shooting party. "Thank you Papa" she says and smiles faintly at him.

He convinces Matthew to share a drive with him, which isn't hard to do because Matthew seems to be a little afraid of him and would probably do quite a lot of things he'd asked him to do.

"Matthew, have you heard the news?"

"That Edith and Patrick will get married? Yes. Although it surprised me because I thought that he was supposed to marry Mary."

"There was no love lost between Patrick and Mary, or at least not a lot of love. But it seems as if Patrick and Edith are in love, so I think that this the better way, even if Mary is hurt right now."

He sees Matthew's face cloud over at his last words. Maybe there is hope. "She's lost a title, an estate and quite a lot of money. More money than you can imagine. And her sister isn't too kind about this, I have to say. I'll have to have words with her. And I have to make Mary see that this is better for her as well, because now she is a lot freer in her choice of husband."

"Not very free though. You wouldn't let her marry an upper middle class lawyer."

"Matthew, if you are asking whether I'd allow her to marry you, the answer is yes."

"Because you really don't mind whom she marries or because I am Patrick's heir as long as he and Edith don't have a son?"

He is surprised by this and apparently not able to hide his surprise.

"Lord Grantham, you are not the only one who looks at family trees. I've done that too and I know my position. If Patrick and Edith don't have son, either I or my eldest son, should I have one, would be the heir. And if my sons were Mary's sons that would certainly not be against your wishes, would it?"

He can't lie to the boy who apparently isn't afraid of him after all.

"Matthew, I can't deny that that thought has crossed my mind. But I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't have the impression that you might be interested in Mary."

"I'd be very offended now if your impression about my feelings regarding Mary weren't correct. But I don't think I'll stand a chance."

"Don't despair Matthew. I have known my daughter for over 19 years and she may think that no one knows what is going on inside of her but she thinks wrongly. I think you do stand a chance. Use it well. Neither me nor Lady Grantham would be in your way."

"How do I do it? How do I make her love me?"

"By being just as you are. You are unassuming and you don't try to impress her all the time. She likes that. Don't always give in to her. She is used to winning arguments. You are a match for her. Show her that. Show her that you respect her. That is important to her."

"Thank you, Lord Grantham."

"You are welcome." The smile on Matthew's face makes him want to clap him on the shoulder but he thinks that would be a too personal reaction. But he smiles back at him. And makes a spur-of-the-moment decision. "Matthew, if you like, you can stay here for a while longer. There is nothing suspicious about that."

"Thank you, I think I will."


	8. Chapter 7

_Matthew_

When he walks into the library and sees Mary there by herself he can hardly contain his joy. "Mary", he says and watches her face transform as she turns to him and sees him. She looks as if she has cried a lot that day, but she smiles at him in a way he can only describe as lovingly. "Matthew, what a pleasure to see you. I was afraid we wouldn't be able to spend any more time together before you left tomorrow morning."

"I've got news on that. I changed my plans. I'll stay here for a little while longer. Get to know the family. And I like it here. It's so quiet here."

Mary almost chokes on her tea.

"You like it here because it is quiet?" she asks him incredulously. "You are a city boy, my dear."

"I am. Maybe there is another incentive." He smiles at her and raises his eyebrows. He hasn't overheard the 'my dear'

"And what would that be?" Mary has gotten up now and walked towards him. He isn't going to back away. If she wants to play this game, he'll play it with her.

"I don't know", he says. "Maybe it's the view." He is now so close to her that he can look at her very closely and he does. He wants her to know what he means.

_Mary_

They are playing with fire again. Matthew is staying here because of her. He is very obvious about it. She is almost sure he does this on purpose. They are playing a game. She puts the index finger of right hand under his chin and moves it up. "Matthew", she says. "I hope it is not only the view that keeps you here." "No."

_Matthew_

He can't help himself. He moves his head forward and kisses her. In broad daylight in her parents library. He puts his arms around her waist and pulls her close. She gasps but he keeps on kissing her. He wants to kiss her until she is dizzy, until she is putty in his hands. He doesn't hear the door open, but hears an "oh, I am so sorry." The door closes again. He stops to kiss Mary and turns around worriedly. "Sybil. Don't worry, she won't say a thing", Mary says before she reignites their kiss. He wants to go on and he wants to go further but he knows he shouldn't. So he pulls away.

"Mary, I want to go on. God knows I want to so much. But we can't. Not here, not now."

"When?"

"When we are ready."

"I am ready now."

"No. You are not. And neither am I."

"What are we waiting for?"

"Mary, I like you. Very much."

"But we've known each other for only two months," she finishes his sentence for him.

"Yes. It's too short a time for something that big."

"We are not just talking about kissing anymore, are we Matthew?"

"Has this ever been about just kissing?"

He looks into her eyes and this is the moment that it becomes clear to him what she feels.

_Mary_

Oh dear God. I love him. Irrevocably. His eyes are the deepest of blue and they are full of emotions. Maybe he has realized what exactly he feels in that moment too. She has to know.

"No. This has never been just about kissing. Will you ever be ready?"

"Yes." Her heart skips a beat.

"Will you?"

"Yes."

She kisses him on the lips one more time and then moves a few steps away from him.

_Cora_

"Mama, can I talk to you?" She really doesn't have any time because Robert and her have been invited to dinner by some friends and they have to leave in a few minutes, but Mary looks so confused that she can't say no. "A little."

"Mama, is it true that your father and Granny didn't want you and Papa to get married?"

She is surprised by the question but she thinks she knows what's behind it.

"Yes. That is true. Your granny did not want an American in this house, no matter how much money I brought with me. And my father thought my money should buy me more than just the title of a countess."

"So both you and Papa went against your parents' wishes by getting married to each other."

"Yes." She can hear Robert in the other room and she wants to get this over with. "Mary, now that Edith will marry Patrick, you are almost free in your choice of husband. As long as you don't want to marry the chauffeur, we'll be fine with it."

"Even with someone who has a job?"

"You mean a doctor or a lawyer?"

"For example."

"If that what will make you happy then we will be happy. Especially if it is a lawyer." She hopes her daughter has understood what she wants to tell her. The look of relief on Mary's face tells her that she has.

_Patrick_

"Edith, I'd like to ask you something."

"Go ahead." She has such an easy manner with him and he hopes that she won't take this wrong way. He doesn't want their first fight to be about Mary.

"I'd like to ask you to be a little nicer to Mary." She looks at him confusedly. "Why should I be nice to her?"

"Because she is your sister. No matter how much you two might have fought, you have got what you wanted. You made me fall in love with you. You'll be Countess of Grantham one day. You and not Mary. Would you stop talking to her about that? Please? For me?" Edith' expression turns soft.

"If it is important to you, then yes. I won't taunt her anymore. Or Sybil. I promise."

"Thank you darling." He wishes she was as nice to her sisters as she is to him. Not exactly the same way of course, but they are her sisters. And once they are Earl and Countess of Grantham she might need every support she can get. It was Mary who had been groomed for this position for years, not Edith. And while he hopes that it will be many years before they actually have to take on their new roles, he thinks that one can never be careful.

_Cora_

"So you think that there is a good chance that Mary will marry Matthew?" her husband asks her in the car.

"Yes. I am sure that whole conversation was about Matthew. I tried to tell her we were fine with it if it made her happy. I did not tell her that we actually want her to marry Matthew." Her husband sighs at this. "What is it, Robert?"

"You may not have told Mary, but I told Matthew. Or rather, he guessed it. He knows where he stands considering the succession. And he asked me whether that was the reason I was allowing him to pursue Mary. I couldn't very well lie to him."

"No. But I think he is smart enough not to tell her."

There is something else that she needs to talk to him about.

"Robert, Edith isn't being very kind to Mary or Sybil. We have to talk to her because she is really hurting their feelings."

"Why? What has she said?"

"She told both of them that she'd throw them out of the house as soon as she was the countess. Regardless of their marital status. Apparently Sybil flung a cookie jar at her." Her husband's face tells her that he is shocked by this.

"If she really said that, she can't blame Sybil for throwing the cookie jar. But she can't throw them out of the house."

"That's why we have to talk to her."

"We do have to talk to her but that is not what I mean. She can't because she isn't allowed to. I've written that into my will. It says that neither our girls nor you can be made to leave the house if you don't want to."

"Really Robert?" She can hardly believe it.

"Yes. I added it before I left for South Africa because I wasn't sure whether James would let you stay in case I didn't return. I've never taken it out and I certainly won't do so now." She takes her husband's face between her hands and pours all her emotions into kissing him. "I love you, Robert."


	9. Chapter 8

_Patrick_

"How long is Matthew going to stay?"

"I don't know darling, I suppose as long as he wants to. Does it matter? There is room enough in this house."

"I don't want him to ruin our wedding."

"Edith, how is he supposed to do that?" He really has no idea how Matthew could ever ruin their wedding. He thinks that Matthew's presence has made many things a lot easier. He is a very good distraction for Mary. The few days Matthew has spent in London to start his new job have been marked by cat fights between Mary and Edith and no matter how hard it is for him to admit it, he thinks that most of them were started by Edith.

"He could propose to Mary before the wedding."

"And that would be bad? Why? Don't you want your sister to be happy?"

"If he proposes to her before our wedding, our wedding will be old news before it has even happened. Everyone will concentrate on Mary." Sometimes he doesn't understand Edith.

"That is not true. And even if it was, I thought we got married out of love, not because we want attention on our wedding day. Which we will have. I am your father's heir after all."

"True", she says and kisses him. Sometimes there is nagging thought at the back of his mind that makes him wonder if Edith really loves him or if she loves the idea of marrying the next Earl of Grantham and thereby making a better match than her older sister. But as usual he pushes that thought aside and continues to kiss his future wife.

_Robert_

Carson hands him all the letters as usual and he distributes them amongst his family, only keeping his and Cora's letters. He usually takes Cora's letters to her himself because it gives him a few more minutes with her every morning, minutes with her alone that he knows they both enjoy tremendously.

"Edith, Patrick, Mary, Mary, Sybil, me, me, your mother, Sybil again, your mother, a letter from America for your mother, no hold on, that one's for you Matthew, and Edith again." He likes handing out the letters; to him it is like handing out little presents every morning. All three of his daughters are avid writers, a trait they have inherited from both their parents.

"Oh my God".

"Matthew what is it?" He can hear the concern in his eldest daughter's voice. He looks up and Matthew's expression is somewhere between joy and confusion.

"I've been offered a job at a law firm in New York. It is one of the best ones out there. They offer me a senior position. And a lot of money. Here, read it." He watches as Matthew thrusts the letter into Mary's hand.

"Are you going to take the job?" Edith voice sounds a little too hopeful he thinks. He is almost sure that Matthew taking a job in New York would mean Mary going there with him. But maybe that is what makes Edith so hopeful. She wants Mary out of the house after all. And from what Patrick has told him, she doesn't want Matthew to stay either. He knows that it is unusual to let a third cousin stay at his house for over three months, but it is not that far from London and it seems to make both Mary and Matthew happy. And he likes Matthew very much. He is so unassuming and he isn't arrogant, something that cannot always be said about Patrick. He has started to compare Patrick and Matthew and while he likes Patrick very much because he has known him all his life, he sometimes thinks that Matthew would make a better earl, despite or maybe even because of his middle-class upbringing. Matthew is kinder in general, but especially so to the servants and tenants. It has always been important to both Robert and Cora to be kind to everyone but especially to the people working for them. Patrick's father James never thought that to be necessary and sometimes Patrick acts accordingly both towards the servants and tenants. Two weeks ago Matthew suggested repairing some of the tenants' cottages, saying that if the family wanted them to do good work, the family should provide nice homes for them. He wholeheartedly agreed with Matthew, but Patrick was against it, saying that if the tenants wanted to live more comfortably they should pay for the restoration of their houses themselves. He tried to tell Patrick why Matthew was right, but Patrick didn't understand or maybe didn't want to understand. Maybe he should talk to Cora about this.

"I'm going upstairs, bringing your mother her letters", he says and leaves.

_Mary_

"Let's go for a walk", she says to him and he acquiesces. It has been raining for three days straight now and there is mud everywhere. She thinks that the weather fits her mood very well.

"So, is this job offer in New York permanent or just for a few years?" She hopes it's only for a short duration because she couldn't stand it if Matthew left forever.

"It doesn't really say. Although I don't think that it is likely that I will stay in New York forever. I will won't to come back at some point."

"But you are going?" She prays for him to say no.

"That depends on whether you are going to go there with me."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"You have a grandmother in New York, don't you? You could visit her. And since you hardly know anyone there and I don't know anyone there at all, it would only be natural for us to meet rather frequently."

"I don't know Matthew."

"There is of course another possibility."

"And which one is that?"

"You could come with me as my wife."

"As your wife?"

"Yes. Then we could live together and wouldn't have to find excuses to meet."

"True."

"So will you?"

"Matthew, do it properly, please. Get down on one knee and everything. Or I won't say it." She watches him roll his eyes at her and smile and then he kneels down in the mud and take her hand. He is going to propose. He is going to propose.

_Matthew_

She is going to say yes. She is going to say yes.

"Mary, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Yes."

He gets up and kisses her and lifts her up and swings her around and because they are standing in the mud he loses his balance and they both fall down. Her laughter at this makes his heart skip a beat.

"Matthew, let's get back inside, we have to get changed." So he lifts her back onto her feet and holds her hand while they are walking towards the house.

_Robert_

He watches his daughter and Matthew walk towards the house. They are both covered in mud and holding hands. He walks outside to meet them.

"I suppose you are both going to New York then."

"Yes", they answer in unison.

"Congratulations. And I'll miss you."

"I'll write to you Papa. And you and Mama could visit us. I am sure that Mama would love to go to New York."

Two weeks after he walked Edith down the aisle, he goes to church in a carriage with Mary. He notices that the crowd that waves and cheers at them is much bigger this time. He wonders whether this is down to Mary or Matthew but he thinks that it is probably down to both of them. Mary might be aloof and arrogant towards members of her family sometimes but she is always kind to the people who are socially beneath her. And Matthew has done more good for the village and the tenants in the space of four moths than Patrick has in all his life. Maybe it is for the best that Edith steadfastly refused to interrupt her wedding journey for Mary's wedding and that she and Patrick don't have to see how much more popular Matthew and Mary seem to be.

* * *

AN: I know that the proposal is rather similar to what we've seen on the show. That has been done on purpose and I take no credit for it. Just as I take not credit for Mary thinking "He's going to propose" which she says she was thinking when Matthew proposed (I think it is 4.06 but I am not sure).


	10. Chapter 9

AN: Rather short chapter today but I am thinking about writing a companion piece to this that deals more with Mary and Matthew's life in NY (and maybe the life of Edith and Patrick at Downton as well, I have a few ideas concerning the style of the story in mind, we'll see.)

Thanks for all the reviews, they make me very happy :)

Kat

* * *

_Mary_

"This is our house?" She cannot believe it. How is this even possible?

"Yes."

"It is bigger than my father's house in London."

"I know."

"How do we pay for this?"

"I told you they are paying me a lot of money. And I received a rather generous signing bonus. Also, I saved every penny of the money I earned working for the law firm in London for the past four months."

"Will we be able to maintain such a house?"

"Yes. I've talked it through with you father. There won't be any difficulties concerning that."

"I don't know what to say."

"Do you like the house?" She cannot believe he is asking that question.

"Like the house? I love it. It is wonderful. Matthew, it is so much more than I expected."

_Matthew_

"It is so much more than I expected." His wife words come back to him when he walks home one night from the office after they have been in New York for three months. She was right. Their life in New York is marvelous. Mary's title and the fact that she is the daughter of 'that Levinson girl who became a countess' have opened the doors into the highest circles of New York society. But his job and his colleagues have also opened doors for them to the upper-middle class. To his surprise Mary seems to prefer their upper-middleclass friends. When he asked her about it she explained to him that they were a lot more like her mother than all their upper class acquaintances and he realized that she was right. When he told her so she laughed at him and told him that her mother's family hadn't always been as incredibly rich as they were in the 1880s and that her mother had spent most of childhood as a middle-class child. He smiles at this. Mary has never been more herself than she is in New York. In England she always put on act for everyone but him, here she puts on an act for no one.

"Matthew", she says and smiles when he enters their sitting room.

"You are in a particularly good mood today."

"Yes, I am", she says, gets up, walks towards him and puts her arms around him. He can smell her perfume now and it makes him dizzy.

"Matthew, look at me. I have got something to tell you and I want to see your face." His stomach does a backflip when she says this because he has inkling of what is coming. She has been tired lately and very tenderer towards him. As if her feelings for him had intensified, if that was possible.

"Matthew, we are having a baby." Although he suspected it, it makes him happier than he has ever been before. He has been hoping for Mary to be pregnant since their wedding night because he feels a desperate longing to be a father.

"Oh Mary, I love you." He lifts her of the ground carefully and swings her around just once. When he puts her back down she kisses him more lovingly than ever before.

_Cora_

She smiles at her husband when he brings her her letters. He does this every morning and she knows he does it so that they can have a few minutes for themselves.

"There's a letter from Mary for you."

"And you want me to open it right now and tell you what's in it." Her husband smirks at her and she can't deny him. So she opens the letter and scans it. She never reads her daughter's letter out loud to him right away because sometimes Mary mentions things she obviously doesn't want her father to know about. But what she sees on the page now, she knows she is allowed to share with her husband.

"We are going to have an American grandchild, Robert."

"What?" The dumbstruck look on her husband's face makes her smile.

"Mary is pregnant. The child will be born in New York. He or she will be an American."

"I gather that makes you happy."

"In a way. Although I'd much rather the child were here for us to spoil him or her."

"They won't stay in New York forever."

"Are you happy Robert?" He doesn't look happy.

"I feel old."

"You aren't old. You were very young when you became a father, so now you are still young when you become a grandfather."

"I was as old as Mary is now. Which means that I am still young enough for most things." He is grinning now and she is glad she hasn't rung for her lady's maid yet.


	11. Chapter 10

AN: As you can probably gather from this chapter, hardly anything is shown of Mary and Matthew's life in New York. I didn't think that it would fit this story. But I will write a companion which will deal with the year between the weddings and what is about to happen in the next chapters.

Thanks for the many reviews! They are what make me want to write that companion piece.

Kat

* * *

_Patrick_

"Patrick, I want to go on the Titanic."

"Why?"

"Because it is grand."

"And?"

"It befits our station."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We are a future earl and countess. We should be on the maiden voyage of the greatest ship ever built."

"Your parents are a current earl and countess and they have no interest in going on that ship."

"Patrick, you never do anything for me."

"That is not true." He watches his wife leave the room in a very bad mood. He thinks back to the time between Christmas and shooting party a year ago. He had kept thinking that he was playing with fire, testing whether he liked Edith or Mary better and he sometimes has the feeling now that he got burned rather badly. Quite opposed to Matthew, who in his eyes played an even more dangerous game but came out a winner. Matthew won a wife who loves him for what he is, not the title she will eventually get because of him (there is no title after all), Matthew has got a successful life in one of the most exciting cities in the world and he is rapidly becoming Robert's favorite son-in-law even though he is over three thousand miles away. Patrick knows that some of Edith' antics stem from the fact that she is not yet pregnant while Mary is about to give birth in a month, but it is driving him mad. Maybe he should go on the Titanic with her. His father is going anyway, he has some business in New York, they could accompany him. He'd also like to see Mary and Matthew. They have announced to bring the baby for a visit in summer but he still likes Matthew and it would be nice to see him before summer. Maybe Matthew can give him some tips on how to make a Crawley girl happy.

_Robert_

He opens the telegram Carson has handed to him eagerly and once he has taken in the news he leaves the breakfast table and almost runs upstairs. He enters his wife's room without knocking and finds her still asleep.

"Cora, darling, wake up."

She looks at him a little confused.

"It's a boy Cora. Mary's had the baby, we have a grandson. Everything went well." His wife elicits a little scream and pulls him closer to her with such force that he loses his balances and falls on top her. He just manages to catch his weight with his arms.

"Oh, I am glad Robert. I was so worried, not being there for her. I kept asking myself whether I shouldn't have gone over there. Whether I really should have believed her that she wanted to this alone with Matthew. I am so happy. A healthy grandchild."

"Yes. And it is boy. That should take some pressure of Edith and Patrick. I think" But he can't tell his wife what he thinks anymore because she has started to kiss him senseless and he is only too happy to give in to her.

_Edith_

"Where are my parents?" she asks the butler.

"I don't know my lady. His lordship had a telegram this morning and left the breakfast table to tell her ladyship about it."

She knows what this means. Mary has had the baby. She expects her parents to be in her mother's room talking about what a great person Mary is and how lovely it is that at least one of their daughters managed to have a child. She is so lost in her own thoughts that she forgets to knock on the door. She takes one look at the bed, closes the door again and sinks down in front of it. Apparently her parents' love life is much better than her own. Patrick would never do something like that with her, especially not in the morning. When her parents become so loud that she can hear them she gets up and leaves. She isn't shocked by what she has seen and heard but it makes her sad. She has wondered her whole life why her father preferred to share her mother's room when he had his own room. And why her mother would let him spend every night in her room. She has learned what married people do over the course of the last year, but she has always had an inkling that she and Patrick weren't particularly good at it. He never spends the night with her and she doesn't want him to either. She knows that she and Patrick don't have what her parents have. She remembers the passionate kisses at the beginning of their relationship but those kisses became less passionate even before the wedding. Now they hardly kiss anymore and they only sleep with each other because they need an heir. She sometimes has the feeling that Patrick regrets choosing her over Mary. She is sure however that Mary does not regret choosing Matthew. The letters she gets from her are full of tales of a very happy and probably passionate marriage. Edith made Patrick fall in love with her, took him away from Mary, took the title, the estate and the money away from Mary and Mary is the one who ends up with the perfect marriage, ends up with what their parents obviously have. It makes her so bitter towards her sister. She is glad her sister is far away, although she supposes she'll have to see her when they are in New York. See her and the baby. She is sure the baby is a boy and she knows what that means. As long as she doesn't have a boy, Mary's boy will be the heir. Not before Patrick but still. At least Patrick has consented to go onto the Titanic with her. She hopes that something as exciting as that will rekindle the passion in their relationship.


	12. Chapter 11

AN: To all you Edith fans out there: I am not surprised by the fact that you don't like the way this story is going but it is the way I chose it to go. Keep in mind that this is just a fanfiction story and has no relevance whatsoever for the actual plot of Downton Abbey.

I know that Edith is OOC in this, especially compared to last season. But one of the purposes of fanfiction is to play with the characters and that is all that I have done here. Also, please keep in mind that me writing this story doesn't mean that I personally don't like Edith' character. Moreover, I like to end stories with an epilogue set several years in the future and this story will have such an epilogue as well, so you don't really know the Edith will end up as a childless widow at Downton.

Kat

* * *

_Matthew_

"Mary, wake up. Mary, wake up."

"What is it Matthew? Is it George?"

"No. But something terrible has happened."

When he tells her he can see all the color drain from her face.

"What about Edith? And Patrick and his father?" she asks and she is trembling.

"I don't know."

"Matthew you have to go. You have to find out. And once you find something out, give me a telephone call. And send a telegram to my parents."

"Yes. Try to stay calm. I know it is almost impossible."

_Robert_

"Your lordship, you have to wake up." He dimly realizes that he is being shaken at his shoulder. He thinks that he has recognized his butler's voice. In that moment he becomes aware of the fact that he is wrapped around his wife. But if Carson is in his wife's room so early in the morning and has not left at the sight that has greeted him, something terrible must have happened.

"What is it?" he asks.

"The Titanic has sunk."

"What?"

"There was a telegram and I opened it because I wasn't sure whether it really was as urgent as the boy who delivered it said. I am sorry if I"

"Don't apologize. Give it to me." He reads the telegram and sends the butler away. He has to tell to Cora and he has to tell her alone.

"Cora, wake up. Cora, wake up."

"What is it?"

"Something terrible has happened."

"What is it?" she asks again and she is clearly afraid.

"The Titanic has sunk."

"I thought it was supposed to be unsinkable."

"Every mountain is said to be unclimbable until somebody climbs it. So every ship is unsinkable until it sinks."

"What about Edith? And Patrick and James?"

"We don't know. It doesn't say."

"You have to contact Matthew."

"I am sure both him and Mary already know. It happened much closer to America than to here. Matthew will let us know if there is news without me telling him to do so."

They sit at the breakfast table in silence. They told Sybil what happened together and the girl hasn't spoken a word since then. Cora is staring into space most of the time and he is so afraid of the news that might come that he doesn't know how to comfort either his wife or his youngest daughter.

"There is another telegram for you my lord." His hands tremble so much that he can hardly hold the paper steady enough to read it.

"It's from Matthew. It says: According to authorities: Edith on Carpathia, James and Patrick missing. Will contact as soon as more news."

"What does that mean?" It's the first time that Sybil has spoken since they have told her news.

"It probably means that Edith is save and that Patrick and James did not make it."

_Matthew_

He didn't telephone her. He couldn't tell her this on the telephone. So he takes a taxi home to tell her in person. He finds her in the nursery, sitting in a rocking chair, their son asleep on her chest.

"I couldn't be by myself", she says to him. "I couldn't stand it."

He gives her a kiss on the forehead. "It seems as if Edith is among those lucky few who were picked up by the Carpathia. But Patrick and James are missing, which in all likelihood means that they are dead."

_Mary_

She can feel the tears running down her face. She is so relieved that her sister is alive. But her cousins, one of them her brother-in-law, are dead. "It must have been horrible for Edith. Is the Carpathia coming back to New York?"

"Yes. But they said they had no idea when the ship might arrive here. Probably tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Or maybe even a day later. They are probably very careful now. All we can do is wait. I sent a telegram to your parents. And I've taken a leave of absence from work."

"Why? Now that I know that Edith is alive, I can be here on my own. And Anna is here as well. Don't worry."

"No Mary. We have to wait for Edith, she'll probably need help. And then we have to go to England. All of us."

"Matthew, if Edith can't go by herself, I'll send Anna with her. I'm sure she'd like to go back to Downton for a few weeks. And if that is not enough, I can go with her and then come straight back. It would be exhausting but you don't have to stop working for that."

The look he gives her is one of pity and remorse.

"Mary, James and Patrick are dead. And if Edith isn't pregnant, which somehow I doubt, then I am your father's heir. We have to go back to Downton."

"I hadn't thought about that. Not for a single second." It shocks her. The deaths of her brother-in-law and his father mean that she will be Countess of Grantham after all. The price is not worth it, especially not now anymore. They will have to burden their son with the knowledge that he will eventually be the earl. She had hoped she could spare him that. Their life in New York is so carefree, so free of the rules and regulations of the English aristocracy. But there is no denying it. If her sister isn't pregnant, Matthew, George and she will have to do their duty to Downton.

"Let's not start to pack up our life here before we know for certain that Edith isn't expecting." It is her last hope. Maybe, by some miracle, Edith is pregnant and the baby will be a boy.

"You don't want to go back to England."

"Matthew, I never thought I'd say this but no, I don't. Not under these circumstances. But we will do our duty."

_Edith_

There are too many people on this ship but she supposes that can't be helped. It's all her fault. She bullied Patrick into going on that stupid ship with her. He didn't want to. He only bought the tickets to do her a favor. And now he is dead. The images of the ship breaking apart and the people in the water will always stay with her. As will the screams of the dying people. The water was ice cold. It hurt those people in the water. And why hadn't there been enough life boats? How was this possible? Other's around her have already decided to start a campaign for stricter safety regulations. But she can't be part of that. She lost her husband and his father and with them she lost her future. She is no longer the Countess to be. That is her sister Mary now. Perfect Mary, who married another one of their father's heirs, one further down the line, but the one who will eventually be the Earl. And there is no pressure on her to produce an heir because perfect Mary has already done that. The morning she saw her parents in bed together was the morning she found out that Mary had become the mother of a healthy boy. And she herself isn't pregnant. So there is no hope left for her at all. She hates Mary for getting what she wanted after all; she hates Patrick for dying but most of all she hates herself for killing Patrick. Because that is what she has done. Without her constant nagging, they'd be save at Downton now. In mourning for James, but safe and alive. They told her that the ship will be in New York on the 18th. She supposes that Mary and Matthew will pick her up. She doesn't want to see them. She doesn't want to see anyone. But least of all that healthy baby boy.

_Cora_

"Your ladyship, there is a telegram for you."

"Thank you, Carson." She can feel her husband's eyes bore into her as she opens the telegram. Without scanning it first she reads it out to him.

"Mama, Papa, Edith safe with us. Physically fine but otherwise not doing well. James and Patrick certainly dead. Arranging return to England for all of us. Sending letter later today as well. Mary."

"They've realized it then."

"What?" She has no idea what her husband is talking about.

"That they have to come back. Matthew's my heir now. They can't stay in New York."


	13. Chapter 12

_Mary_

She thinks it is the hardest letter she has ever had to write.

_Dear Mama and Papa,_

_I am sending this letter to both of you because I know that you will share it and quite frankly, knowing that you will read the letter together is one of the very few things that don't make me want to cry. Besides the fact that Edith survived and that I've got Matthew and George._

_There is no reason to beat around the bush, so I'll be honest with you. Edith is doing terribly. She is fine physically; we've had our doctor examine her. She wasn't in the water, so she was comparatively warm during the whole ordeal. But she can't come to terms with what happened. She thinks that it is her fault that Patrick is dead, because she pressured Patrick into going onto the Titanic with her. Matthew, Anna and I have told her that that wasn't true, that is was the fault of the people who didn't put enough life boats onto that damn ship and the fault of those people who thought it a good idea to sail at almost full speed through icy water. But Edith doesn't accept this. She has nightmares, which I suppose isn't a surprise. She cries and screams and I have had to sleep next to her last night and I am sure that this will go on for many more nights. Of course this makes things with George more difficult, especially since Edith absolutely refuses to be in a room with him. I am afraid that she will be worse when we are on the ship. We are only bringing Anna and the nanny along; Anna has agreed to take care of Edith as well and I think that this gives Edith some comfort. _

_We are leaving New York in three weeks from today. We can't come any earlier because Matthew has to wrap things up at work. I am not happy that we have to leave New York so soon. Mama, you were right, I love it here. But I am very glad to see all of you again. And I am happy that George will be spoilt rotten by both of you. He is such a lovely boy. We'll arrive in Liverpool on the 19th. Would you mind picking us up? I think it would be good for Edith to see both of you as soon as she is back in England._

_Papa, Matthew asked me to tell you not to worry. He said he would do his duty. And so will I. _

_I know I don't say it often enough but I want to say it now. I love you both._

_Mary _

_P.S.: I know I sound like a child, but would you please write back to me? The letter should be here before we leave. _

_P.P.S: Don't worry if Edith doesn't write to you. She doesn't want to talk to or write to anyone at the moment. _

She feels relieved when the letter has been brought to the post office and is on its way to England. She wishes her mother was here and would help her with Edith. But they'll be home in a little over three weeks and her parents will help her then. She can't remember ever wanting her parents to be with her as much as she wants that now.

_Cora_

"I feel so sorry for them. All of them. We have to write back to her right now, Robert."

"I know darling. I'll be glad once they are all back here. Why don't you write the letter and I'll make arrangements for us to go to Liverpool and pick them up?"

"Robert, she wants us to write back to her, not just me."

"I'll read the letter and sign it." She rolls her eyes at her husband but can't help smiling at him.

_Dear Mary,_

_Of course we are writing back to you and it doesn't have to make you feel like a child to ask for it. The task you've been given would be hard to deal with for everyone, but considering the state of the relationship between Edith and yourself, you are probably the one for whom it is hardest to help. But thank you for doing it._

_We will be in Liverpool to pick you up. We are looking forward to finally seeing our grandson and we are glad that he will grow up with us, even if the circumstances that have led to it are horrible. _

_Tell Edith that we all love her. I send a letter to her three days ago, I hope she reads it. Sybil has written too, in fact she writes to Edith every day. She hopes that getting letters from home every day will cheer Edith up a little, but I told Sybil not to hope for an answer and she does not expect one._

_I wish I could tell you something that you could do to let Edith have less nightmares but I can't. When your father came back from the war he had nightmares for months on end and there was nothing that would stop them. But eventually they did stop. Maybe that is a little consolation for either you or Edith or for both of you._

_Mary, please do not take it personally that Edith does not want to see George. She hoped for a son so much and now she knows she will never have one, at least not with Patrick. I am sure that it is breaking her heart. She will come around to George eventually. I know that nothing of this is helping you right now, but it will get better._

_Your father is very thankful to both you and Matthew for coming home without him having to ask for it. We both know it is not what you wanted; we know how much you both enjoy living in New York. The city suits you well, Mary, I know. But you will feel home here again soon, I am sure. _

_Your father has just told me that he booked a hotel in Liverpool for all of us to stay in after you have come back, but it is up to Edith whether we really will stay there or whether we will go home. _

_We love you too. _

_Mama and Papa_

_Mary_

The letter makes her cry because it is so typical for her parents. Her mother tried to create the impression that it was written by both of them, but failed miserably. She is sure that her father read the letter and signed it and she is sure that her mother rolled her eyes at him for thinking that that meant writing a letter together. It makes her want to go home. She has to smile at Sybil's attempt to cheer Edith up and decides to write a thank you letter to her because it is working. Edith has shared Sybil's letters with her and they are bubbly and full of little entertaining things that happened at home. Mary is sure that Sybil's needs hours for each letter to make them sound exactly the way they are but she doesn't tell Edith so. She asked Edith to write back to Sybil but Edith only shook her head. She still has to sleep in the same room with her and the nightmares haven't changed but her mother's reassurance makes her feel a little less desperate. She wonders if she should tell Edith that their father had to deal with nightmares after returning from the war. Or maybe she should ask her father to tell Edith about it himself. But her mother has probably done that already.


	14. Chapter 13

_Edith_

Now she has to go onto another bloody ship. She isn't scared that it will sink; she thinks that no one can be on two ships that sink within the space of less than five weeks. But it makes everything more real to her. Matthew has booked first class cabins. Of course he has. The splendor isn't as great as it was on the Titanic but she is glad about that. She has her own room but Mary has offered to share with her again. She hates her sister for getting everything she wanted but she is very thankful for her staying in the same room at night. She'd have even more nightmares if she had to sleep by herself. Mary's presence comforts her, but she has already decided to ask Sybil to share a room with her once they are back at Downton because she doesn't hate Sybil. She supposes that Mary will be glad about that as well because it will make taking care of George easier for her. She's seen George only twice. Once at night when she woke up while Mary was feeding him - why Mary would do such a thing herself is beyond her because it doesn't seem like Mary – and now on the way to the harbor. He looks like any other baby but Mary and Matthew coo over him as if he was the first baby boy to have ever been born on earth. If she is honest with herself, she knows that she doesn't really hate the child and she doesn't really hate her sister but she can't be happy for them either.

When they get of the ship in Liverpool she is surprised to see her parents there. She only realizes how much she wanted them to be there when her mother hugs her and her father strokes her head. Neither of them says a thing but they let her cry. And she just can't stop crying. She thought there weren't any tears left inside her but there are. She knows she is ruining her mother's dress but also knows that her mother doesn't care about that. Once she stops crying her parents tell her that Sybil is here too and waiting at the hotel they've booked for the night. But she wants to go home. Maybe sleeping in her old room at the Abbey will give her some closure. Her mother says "Whatever you wish to do my darling girl."

_Cora_

"Robert, what are we going to do?"

"There is nothing we can do." She knew he would say this but she had hoped that he would have a solution. "Cora, she will have to deal with it. It is horrible for her and maybe we can ease the pain a little by being kind to her and protecting her from the world, but we can't make the pain go away. Or the picture's and sounds in her head. They will lessen over time, but they will stay with her."

"You still dream about the war sometimes, don't you?"

"Yes." She feels so sorry for him. Because they are alone in their room she wraps her arms around him and puts her head on his chest. "I wish I could make them go away."

"I know. And I love you for it."

"Edith wants to go home today."

"Yes. We will take her home then. Her and Sybil. But I think we should offer Mary and Matthew to stay here for a night with George. They need to sleep."

_Edith_

She is in the car with her parents and younger sister. They've all been kind to her and it helps to not to have to see Mary, to not have to see her parents fuss over George, the heir. Sybil has agreed to sharing a room for a time which is better than having to share with Mary. She would prefer to sleep alone but she knows she can't. If she woke up alone in the dark, she'd think she was drowning.

When she enters the Abbey her heart sinks. This should have been hers. Eventually. She should have been queen of this castle. But she won't be because she bullied her husband to go onto that stupid ship with her.

_Mary_

Matthew has asked the driver to let them out of the car at the beginning of the drive way. He told her that he wants to walk to the Abbey and asked her to walk with him. So she agreed. He carries their son and the image of Matthew carrying George makes her love both of them even more. George is still so small that Matthew needs only one arm to hold him and she feels her husband take her hand when the car has left. They walk up to the Abbey in silence and stop in the middle of the driveway as if they were thinking the same.

_Matthew_

He carries his son home to a house he never thought would be his home, to a future he didn't think would be his. Mary hasn't wanted this in over a year and he never wanted it at all. But they have to face it. When they stop in the middle of the driveway he lets go of his wife's hand and strokes her cheek. "I know this is not what we wanted." "No," she says. "But we have to face what is ahead. And we'll face it together."

He uses his free arm to pull her close and she gives him a kiss on the lips and George a kiss on the head before she moves away from him again. He takes her by the hand again and they walk the rest of the way in silence towards that imposing house that will be their future.

* * *

AN: This is basically the end of the story. I will post the epilogue tomorrow. Thank you so much for your many reviews and your support!

I will most likely write the story about Mary and Matthew in New York and the story will also focus on Edith and Patrick back at Downton. The main stylistic device of that story will of course be the contrast between the M/M and E/P marriages and as the E/P marriage in this story was obviously not a very happy one, I am a little concerned about the flames I will get from Edith fans. But I guess I will just have to live with that :) Should I write that story, it will be called Playing With Fire: The New York Year but I don't think that I'll be able to start publishing it before next weekend because I haven't written it yet and I don't publish stories I haven't finished writing. I have another story finished that I will start to publish on Tuesday which is called "That American Girl", so I suppose that it is rather obvious that it won't be an M/M story :)

Thanks again for your your support!

Kat


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue

Downton 1917

She is woken up by a knock on her door. The only person who would knock on her door at 4 am is her son, so she worries that he might have had another nightmare. His father is still at the hospital and although his father is doing rather well, the boy can't get the pictures of him at the hospital out of his head. She opens the door but it isn't her son who is standing on the other side of it.

"Mary", she says and by the look on her sister's face she knows that something terribly must have happened.

"He's been hurt. Papa has just had a telegram and Matthew's been hurt. They don't know if he will make it." Her sister is as pale as a sheet and she feels terrible for her. She thought she would lose her mind when they told her that Anthony had been hurt but they had at least been able to tell her that he would survive right away. This is so much worse.

"Oh Mary, I am so sorry for you. Are they bringing him here?"

"Yes. But Papa didn't know when he would be here. He said he'd call the war office tomorrow morning. Edith, I don't know how to get through this."

"I know. It's horrible." She puts her arms around her sister and just holds her. Mary breaks down in tears and she lets her cry.

"I can't live without him" her sister finally chokes out.

"Don't think about that now. He might survive. Dr. Clarkson knows what he is doing. Anthony has much better use of his arm now that we thought he'd ever have."

"I'm glad he came back safe and almost sound. You couldn't have lost another husband."

"No. It was bad enough losing Patrick. But at least we didn't have a child. I don't think I'd be able to raise Edward all by myself."

"Yes, you would be. You are the strongest person I know."

"No, Mary, I am not."

"Yes, you are. You went through so much and yet you are happy. You are happy now, aren't you?"

"Very happy. I thought I'd never be happy again after Patrick died. But now I am."

"When are you going home?"

"The day after tomorrow. They'll release Anthony from the hospital then. But we'll stay here if you like."

"Thank you. But you should go home with your husband and child. Will you come to the hospital with me when Matthew gets there? Please?"

"Of course. But you should sleep now."

"I can't sleep."

"Would you like to stay here? It helped me not to have to sleep by myself after the Titanic."

Mary only nods and lies down on her bed. She sits down next to her and strokes her back to calm her down. She feels so sorry for her older sister. She once thought that she hated Mary but she doesn't, she loves her. For a time she thought that Mary had actually been happy that Patrick had died because it had meant that Mary would become Countess of Grantham after all. But during the first few months that they were home after the Titanic, she realized this wasn't true. Mary did not want this. She did not want Patrick to die. And she had made her peace with her younger sister becoming the Countess long before the Titanic disaster. Edith still dreams of the Titanic. She used to dream of it every night for over a year and she kept blaming herself for Patrick's death. She didn't live anymore, she barely existed. But then Anthony came along. Her parents invited him to dinner for some reason she can't remember. He was so nice to her and he seemed to understand her. He had lost a wife. They fit together like two pieced of a puzzle. When Anthony proposed to her at that garden party he told her that she had given him a new life and he gave the same to her. Their son was born less than a year after their wedding. Anthony had joined Matthew and so many other men in France by that time but he came back shortly after the birth to meet his heir. He suggested she move back to Downton as long as he was away so she wouldn't be alone with Edward and she listened to him. It was a good decision because it made life easier for her and it brought her much, much closer to her older sister. They were in the same boat and they began to talk. Really talk. When she got the news that Anthony had been hurt it was Mary she looked to for comfort and now Mary has come to her. She prays that Matthew will survive because Matthew is a like a brother to her and she doesn't want to lose her only brother. She doesn't want Mary to lose her husband or George to lose his father. George is such a dear boy and she loves him almost as much as her own son.

"Edith?" Mary mumbles.

"Yes?"

"I have to throw up." She goes to her bathroom and gets something for Mary to use.

"I am sorry" Mary says.

"You are pregnant, aren't you?" she asks her sister. She has suspected this for a few weeks now because Mary has been looking sick for a while.

"Yes. I can't believe that Matthew was here, whole and happy and able to make a baby only four months ago. We wanted another baby before the war so much. And now that it has finally worked, Matthew might never get to see his child."

"You don't know that. That they are bringing him here is a good sign. If it was really bad they wouldn't put him on a boat. They'd treat him in France."

"You are probably right."

"Go to sleep Mary. You need to take care of yourself for the baby. Dream of telling Matthew about the baby. He will be so happy."

Her sisters are with her at the hospital. Sybil is waiting at the front door to direct the medics carrying the stretcher and Edith is holding her up right. When they bring Matthew in and she sees him she almost faints but Edith holds her and keeps talking to her. She has no idea what Edith is saying but her sister's soothing voice keeps her conscious. She helps Sybil clean Matthew up and Edith goes outside to keep their parents at bay. Their father is almost as mad with worry as she is but she and her sisters decided that she should be the first to talk to Matthew.

"Probable spinal damage" Sybil reads out.

"What does it mean?"

"I don't know." She nods. It probably isn't good news.

She sits at Matthew's bed for hours and Edith stays with her all the time. She is so thankful to her sister. When Matthew opens his eyes she almost breaks down in tears. But she has to pull herself together.

"Matthew, darling", she says.

"Mary" he croaks out.

"I'm glad you are awake."

"Everything hurts Mary."

"I know."

"It's horrible Mary."

"I know."

"I can't stop thinking about the explosion. I know I've been dreaming about it the whole time. And I've had nightmares for weeks before that happened."

"Oh Matthew. I am so sorry for you."

"That doesn't really help me."

"No, I suppose not. But maybe I can make you smile."

"I doubt it."

"We are going to have another baby."

"That does make me smile. Oh Mary, that is wonderful news."

She leaves the room to give her sister and Matthew some privacy. She is glad beyond words that Matthew is back, even if they have no idea yet how badly he has been hurt. She goes in search of her own husband and finds him in the hospital garden. He puts his good arm around her waist and says "Matthew will make it then."

"Yes."

"Thank the heavens."

"Yes." She looks at her husband and gives him a kiss. She is so lucky to have him. "Are you ready to leave?"

"I am. Let's go home darling."

"Yes. Let's finally go home."


End file.
